So you're thinking about planning a wedding....

Let me give you some advice... don't.

I hate to be the grinch about such a magical time in a girl's life, but I have to vent. As you all know, Casey and I got engaged in June. I was busy studying for the Bar and Casey was getting ready for medical school, so neither of us started to plan the big day. This was the the peanut gallery's first introduction... "Why aren't you planning your wedding?" "Don't you want to get going on it?"

So, we finally set a time-frame for the wedding - Summer 2015. The peanut gallery continued...

"Oh, you're going to wait that long???" "Casey, you really need to get married earlier, especially since Jenna is moving to New York." "You should really get married earlier. Oh, you're going back to school across the country? Well, you can make it work. People have done it before."

Yes, these comments were all said to us. And no, it wasn't that someone said it to someone else and that someone else told us. Neighbors, uncles, aunts, parents, friends, you name it. They all felt like they had a say and that we should listen up.

Time goes on, I ignored the "oh my gosh, you're waiting so long to get married" comments and continued to day dream about the day that was two years away. Then, just recently, Casey and I started to really consider our wedding date as it correlates with our schedules. In Summer 2015, I'll be working so I can take time off whenever needed. Casey, on the other hand, is less than flexible. During Summer 2015, he will be studying rigorously for the first Board exam. He will take the exam mid-summer, and then will be assigned to a rotation in Virginia. The rotations last all year and the students rotate throughout the year to various clinics and hospitals. Looking back, this sounds like a crazy schedule, but we didn't really think about it when we decided a Summer 2015 wedding.

After talking to friends that went through a similar situation with planning a wedding during medical school, the consensus was clear. Do not wait until Summer 2015, it is a few months of hell for the med student and you won't see Casey for more than half a day before and after the wedding. Everyone agreed, do it before his second year is finished. Besides the holiday break, we don't know in advanced when his breaks are for school, so, we decided to have a winter wedding. January 2 to be precise.

And wouldn't you know, the peanut gallery starts up again... "You're getting married during the holidays???" "That is going to be SO expensive." "Everyone is going to be exhausted from Christmas!" "Are you sure you can't just have it this summer?"

No one seems to get it. Even Casey has said a time or two that the reason we're not getting married earlier is because of me. But the bottom line is, and that no one seems to get, is that I am not going to plan this thing in the next seven months. I am living across the country and enrolled in a rigorous tax program at the Nation's top program. I want to enjoy this process and not feel forced into planning a wedding just to please everyone else. 

So, we're doing winter. That's set. Once this was set in stone, I announced the news to my iMessage group that includes my aunts, grandmother, and mom. We spent an entire evening brainstorming locations. Hawaii, Cabo, Arizona, Palm Springs, Tahoe, Sun Valley, Vail, Walla Walla, Seattle, Oregon, Sonoma, and the list went on and on. It's a tough time of year for Hawaii and Mexico because the flights are so expensive so those were off the list. Casey said he didn't want to desert wedding so there went Arizona and Palm Springs. Walla Walla is terribly ugly and there's not much to do in the winter so there it went. At that point, we figured, let's embrace the winter and go with somewhere snowy.

I was actually really excited about this option. In college, my friends and I would go to Whistler every MLK Weekend and we would have a blast. No one went on the mountain while we were there, we would just eat out, drink, and enjoy the gorgeous scenery. Those were truly some of the best moments I had during college and the thought of reliving it in the US for our wedding was beyond exciting.

I started looking up winter locations and found the most gorgeous pictures of Sun Valley, Idaho. It is a small village surrounded by mountains, plenty of homes and condos to rent for lodging, and the entire town is covered in snow during the winter months. This was perfect. When I was dreaming up this idea, Casey was studying for finals so I really didn't have serious conversations with him about all of this. When I mentioned Sun Valley he said he liked that idea, but besides that, we really didn't talk details. 

I should have waited until Casey was done with his exams before I started to built my castle. I admit, I jumped the gun and got too invested in the idea of Sun Valley. But I just couldn't help myself. I texted the group and most of them were thrilled. They thought the idea of having a winter vacation sounded fun and beautiful. So this just reaffirmed to me that it really was a great idea.

However, the more the word got around, the louder the peanut gallery got... "But the weather, it's going to be SO COLD." "What if there's a blizzard and people can't get there?" "Won't Sun Valley be REALLY expensive?" "But it's going to be so cold!!!" And on and on and on.

I appreciate everyone's concerns, but really? It would be one thing if people were offering solutions or alternatives, but all of the comments are just negative. Nothing constructive whatsoever. I understand traveling will be more expensive than usual, but that is what comes with the time of year that we're having the wedding. On January 2, most Americans will be on a winter vacation with their families. So yes, lodging and flights may be more expensive. But Sun Valley compared to the rest of America isn't much more.

It's been a couple of weeks since we announced that we were doing it in Sun Valley, and now I'm questioning whether I really want to do it there. Is it worth growing thicker skin just to deal with all of the negativity? I'm just not sure. Unfortunately, I was cursed with sensitivity and I can't help but worry about the money people will have to spend and the time it will take to travel. When people chirp up about this and that, my worrying just gets worse.

The other unfortunate reality of this situation is that Casey and I have spent a good portion of our lives living in different cities and states. So, the concern about traveling and lodging will exist no matter where the location. If we decide not to do Sun Valley, I'm sure a different gallery will raise their voices. Maybe this time it'll be from the audience in the front row. 

I can't help now of dreaming a different dream. Casey and I escaping to somewhere warm and tropical, and simply eloping. Just the two of us. Not asking permission so we don't have to hear the noise. We'll leave for ten days and come back tan and married. Sounds perfect to me. A girl can dream, right?

So, I guess that's it. My rant is done. Bridezilla has shown her face and is likely to come again. If you're reading this and you have something negative to say, please write the comment on a piece of paper and flush it down the toilet.

xox, 

a stressed out bride-to-be.