So you're thinking about planning a wedding....

Let me give you some advice... don't.

I hate to be the grinch about such a magical time in a girl's life, but I have to vent. As you all know, Casey and I got engaged in June. I was busy studying for the Bar and Casey was getting ready for medical school, so neither of us started to plan the big day. This was the the peanut gallery's first introduction... "Why aren't you planning your wedding?" "Don't you want to get going on it?"

So, we finally set a time-frame for the wedding - Summer 2015. The peanut gallery continued...

"Oh, you're going to wait that long???" "Casey, you really need to get married earlier, especially since Jenna is moving to New York." "You should really get married earlier. Oh, you're going back to school across the country? Well, you can make it work. People have done it before."

Yes, these comments were all said to us. And no, it wasn't that someone said it to someone else and that someone else told us. Neighbors, uncles, aunts, parents, friends, you name it. They all felt like they had a say and that we should listen up.

Time goes on, I ignored the "oh my gosh, you're waiting so long to get married" comments and continued to day dream about the day that was two years away. Then, just recently, Casey and I started to really consider our wedding date as it correlates with our schedules. In Summer 2015, I'll be working so I can take time off whenever needed. Casey, on the other hand, is less than flexible. During Summer 2015, he will be studying rigorously for the first Board exam. He will take the exam mid-summer, and then will be assigned to a rotation in Virginia. The rotations last all year and the students rotate throughout the year to various clinics and hospitals. Looking back, this sounds like a crazy schedule, but we didn't really think about it when we decided a Summer 2015 wedding.

After talking to friends that went through a similar situation with planning a wedding during medical school, the consensus was clear. Do not wait until Summer 2015, it is a few months of hell for the med student and you won't see Casey for more than half a day before and after the wedding. Everyone agreed, do it before his second year is finished. Besides the holiday break, we don't know in advanced when his breaks are for school, so, we decided to have a winter wedding. January 2 to be precise.

And wouldn't you know, the peanut gallery starts up again... "You're getting married during the holidays???" "That is going to be SO expensive." "Everyone is going to be exhausted from Christmas!" "Are you sure you can't just have it this summer?"

No one seems to get it. Even Casey has said a time or two that the reason we're not getting married earlier is because of me. But the bottom line is, and that no one seems to get, is that I am not going to plan this thing in the next seven months. I am living across the country and enrolled in a rigorous tax program at the Nation's top program. I want to enjoy this process and not feel forced into planning a wedding just to please everyone else. 

So, we're doing winter. That's set. Once this was set in stone, I announced the news to my iMessage group that includes my aunts, grandmother, and mom. We spent an entire evening brainstorming locations. Hawaii, Cabo, Arizona, Palm Springs, Tahoe, Sun Valley, Vail, Walla Walla, Seattle, Oregon, Sonoma, and the list went on and on. It's a tough time of year for Hawaii and Mexico because the flights are so expensive so those were off the list. Casey said he didn't want to desert wedding so there went Arizona and Palm Springs. Walla Walla is terribly ugly and there's not much to do in the winter so there it went. At that point, we figured, let's embrace the winter and go with somewhere snowy.

I was actually really excited about this option. In college, my friends and I would go to Whistler every MLK Weekend and we would have a blast. No one went on the mountain while we were there, we would just eat out, drink, and enjoy the gorgeous scenery. Those were truly some of the best moments I had during college and the thought of reliving it in the US for our wedding was beyond exciting.

I started looking up winter locations and found the most gorgeous pictures of Sun Valley, Idaho. It is a small village surrounded by mountains, plenty of homes and condos to rent for lodging, and the entire town is covered in snow during the winter months. This was perfect. When I was dreaming up this idea, Casey was studying for finals so I really didn't have serious conversations with him about all of this. When I mentioned Sun Valley he said he liked that idea, but besides that, we really didn't talk details. 

I should have waited until Casey was done with his exams before I started to built my castle. I admit, I jumped the gun and got too invested in the idea of Sun Valley. But I just couldn't help myself. I texted the group and most of them were thrilled. They thought the idea of having a winter vacation sounded fun and beautiful. So this just reaffirmed to me that it really was a great idea.

However, the more the word got around, the louder the peanut gallery got... "But the weather, it's going to be SO COLD." "What if there's a blizzard and people can't get there?" "Won't Sun Valley be REALLY expensive?" "But it's going to be so cold!!!" And on and on and on.

I appreciate everyone's concerns, but really? It would be one thing if people were offering solutions or alternatives, but all of the comments are just negative. Nothing constructive whatsoever. I understand traveling will be more expensive than usual, but that is what comes with the time of year that we're having the wedding. On January 2, most Americans will be on a winter vacation with their families. So yes, lodging and flights may be more expensive. But Sun Valley compared to the rest of America isn't much more.

It's been a couple of weeks since we announced that we were doing it in Sun Valley, and now I'm questioning whether I really want to do it there. Is it worth growing thicker skin just to deal with all of the negativity? I'm just not sure. Unfortunately, I was cursed with sensitivity and I can't help but worry about the money people will have to spend and the time it will take to travel. When people chirp up about this and that, my worrying just gets worse.

The other unfortunate reality of this situation is that Casey and I have spent a good portion of our lives living in different cities and states. So, the concern about traveling and lodging will exist no matter where the location. If we decide not to do Sun Valley, I'm sure a different gallery will raise their voices. Maybe this time it'll be from the audience in the front row. 

I can't help now of dreaming a different dream. Casey and I escaping to somewhere warm and tropical, and simply eloping. Just the two of us. Not asking permission so we don't have to hear the noise. We'll leave for ten days and come back tan and married. Sounds perfect to me. A girl can dream, right?

So, I guess that's it. My rant is done. Bridezilla has shown her face and is likely to come again. If you're reading this and you have something negative to say, please write the comment on a piece of paper and flush it down the toilet.

xox, 

a stressed out bride-to-be.

He liked it so he put a ring on it

You know those weird girls who sit in front of you in class or next to you at a coffee shop and all they do is look at Pinterest? And if you went to their profile you'd see 768 pins on their "My Fairy Tail," "Here Comes the Bride," or "The Big Day." Well, this has become me and my life. Ever since getting engaged, I have become addicted to Pinterest to plan the perfect day. It's a little overwhelming and probably really unattainable to achieve such high expectations for the way the surrounding trees look and the way your tables are arranged, buutttt it is fun.

If you don't know the story of how Casey and I got engaged, I'll share it here... Back in December Casey told me that he asked my dad if he could marry me. We had a big trip planned to Spain so I was sure he was going to do it there. When we reached the decks of the Alhambra, looking over Granada, I was sure that was the moment. Then when we were hiking down to a waterfall in Ronda, I figured this is more than perfect. And then in Sevilla, such a romantic and magical city... I mean, you're basically forced to propose there. But, as all of you know, no such engagement happened and I went home bare handed.

After Spain I didn't want to make any bets on when it was going to happen and I just let it go. We did look at rings in April and that made it feel much more real. I had never tried on rings and to actually put one on my finger took me aback. After I tried on rings I called my mom to tell her about them. We talked for a bit and guessed when he might do it. Of course, Casey told my dad, my dad told my mom, and then my mom felt that she would spill the beans to me. This tends to happen a lot with my mom unless you explicitly say "DO NOT SAY ANYTHING" which of course Casey didn't do so his secret was safe with no one. Anywho, it was mid April and my mom said, "Well you know, he said he was going to do it before graduation so he doesn't have much time left." So I knew it, he was going to ask me during our week long vacation in Catalina before my graduation and bar studying began.

I made it through finals without snooping through any of his drawers or pockets and before I knew it, I was done with law school, my family was flying into SNA, and we were all going to Catalina for the week. We had a wonderful week in Catalina. Everyone was there - Trav, B, T, Q and Jen; Shane, Nicole and Will; Mom and Dad; Garrett and Casey. We made a lot drinks, played miniature golf a few times, the boys played real golf, and every single day we went to the beach where the boys just loved life. The island was really the perfect place to be for our family and the little ones. We were able to walk everywhere and do our own thing if we wanted.

Our time on Catalina came and went way too quickly and before any of us knew it we were on our way back to the mainland. And still, no ring. My mom and I went to the East Coast the day after my graduation and had a great trip. We came back and it was time for me to start studying for the Bar.

Casey's birthday came and went and on June 2, a Sunday, we went to church and then to Trader Joe for some pizza making supplies. We were making pizza in the kitchen of our apartment, I was taking care of the dough and Casey was in charge of tomato chopping. I was spreading garlic on the oiled up dough and all of a sudden I hear this grumble from behind. I look back and there is Casey, on one knee, in the middle of the kitchen floor.

Wow, this was really happening. I had thought about this moment for so long and here it was. All I remember saying was, "let me wash my hands! Casey, your timing is so bad!" It wasn't the nicest reaction, but if you know me, I say what I think before thinking about what I'm going say. I felt so loved and grateful for Casey in that moment, it was really special.

After my hands were washed and the ring was on, we opened up a great bottle of Walla Walla wine we had been saving. We took our time to just enjoy the moment and then we called our family and sent texts to our friends. Casey's parents were in Italy so we sent them an email.

Better late than never...

Well, it has been nearly three years since my last post, and I have finally decided that I need to get back in touch with my inner blogger. So, to catch up on old times I am going to post an internal blog that I wrote while I was in Spain last February. Then I'll get back into the swing of things and give everyone an update on where I am at in life and where I am headed.

xoxo,
Jen

Cries and Goodbyes

I always knew I could be emotional, but I didn't know I could be that emotional. I think my tear ducts will be dried up for years after this move...

It's amazing how much I realized the impact so many people had on me once I had to say goodbye. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks about a week before I left, I held onto time so tightly and didn't let go of any of it, I am so happy with the way I left Seattle. 

I spent my last night out with my restaurant family in Ballard and was shocked by the number of people who were there, leaving their families to come hang out with me and dance the night away. I don't remember a lot of the night, but what I do know is that as I was walking out of the last bar I was whaling and my Detroit friend was yelling at me to knock it off. 

I spent my last weekend with my best college friend floating the Snoqualmie River (after almost going down the Falls), going to our first Sounder's game, and watching the Bachelorette.

I spent my last night with my technology family at a lakehouse wakeboarding, playing beer pong, and having career heart to hearts until 2am. I swore I would want to listen in on the weekly meetings via phone, now I'm not so sure.

My last night in Seattle was with my family giving a waitress a hard time, talking about politics and "the mess Obama has put us in", and falling asleep before I could set my alarm for my apointment the next morning.

And the whole Washington experience ended in Walla Walla where my last weekend was spent with my best girlfriends wine tasting, with my rascal nephews, and my family out at the farm. 

I am so blessed and I am realizing that more and more each day. How am I ever going to meet people to compare to those I met in Seattle? It's going to be hard, probably even harder since I'm Orange County as I've been warned by many.

So here I am, in my warm, bright, California apartment in Orange. This is it, everything I've wanted... right? It still feels like I'm on vacation, I'm just waiting for Alaska Airlines to email me my pre-boarding pass and then the search for a ride from the Sea-Tac begins. I just got a call on my cell from one of The Capital Grille guests telling me he's coming in tomorrow and wants a reservation, I just declined a meeting at Direct Technology's conference room for later this week, maybe this is why I still feel like I'm on vacation... Or maybe it's because I know NO one, except my boyfriend 30 minutes away, I don't know where I am half the time, and the highlight of my day was going to a coffee shop to access the internet. I called the bank today and had to think twice about whether I used the US number or the international one. 

None the less, I'm trying to fit in with my yellow beach cruiser, I'm really enjoy the sun and I'm finally taking time to breathe after these last few, crazy, months. Orientation for school starts in exactly a week from today and the first day of class in Monday the 23rd (everyone say a little prayer for me on Sunday). I hear the people in law school can be ruthless, hopefully it's no worse than Elle's experience at Harvard, maybe I can find a nice professor who will give me a great job... who knows!